In The Beginning, There Was Fear.

In less than 10 days, I will be setting off on an adventure of a life time, 8 months exploring south east Asia and I'm terrified.

Me and my man are slipping out of UK life to travel round South East Asia with only a rough list of countries as our guide. The first flight takes us from London Heathrow to the madness of New Delhi in India where we will spend 10 days getting used to living out of a bag and eating our body weight in delicious food. Next stop is 4 days in Hong Kong, then we jet over to Bangkok, Thailand where our over-land adventure begins including Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia and Singapore. At this point we hope to hop over to Indonesia, including a pit stop in Komoda then to New Zealand. We then start our trip home which we hope will include Kuala Lumpa, Sri Lanka and the Maldives, which will end when we land back in London around early autumn. 

Things we hope to see (All pictures from Google)

I know we are going to see some amazing sights, eat some deliciously unusual foods, meet all manner of people and do it all in weather hot enough for 24/7 shorts, which sounds very appealing as I sit here listening to the wind outside my window with 3 layers on. But my over-riding emotion when I think of all this isn't excitement like everyone says it should be, but fear. I feel totally overwhelmed by it all. 

It's not that I haven't travelled before, I've already cross off 24 of the 180 odd countries in the world, a list I hope to complete before I shuffle off this shelf. It's not planes or trains or automobiles, it's not the scary diseases as I've had all my jabs (wait for my next blog instalment to hear about that little episode) it's not the possibly harmful animals or going on my own as I'm setting off with the perfect travel partner. It's the fear that I won't want to come back.

Yep, this might sound strange to many of you reading this, who doesn't want to experience an adventure because they might just love it too much?! Even writing it sounds silly, but that's the feeling that lives at the pit of my stomach when I think about jetting off around the world. The problem is that I love my life, which is another thing that sounds a little odd to be calling a problem. I'm self employed, running a business that is in essence feeding my fetish for hoarding and rummaging around in junk. I've got a close family, who I see most of each week. I am the mad aunt to two little monsters who I adore spending time with and I have a home which is just starting to take the character of me and my other half. My little life that I've crafted for myself is just right. 

But I know I'm missing something. I'm quite an open person and try to learn lessons and take stock from everything I do so why wouldn't I want to experience a trip of a lifetime that will take me to places that will blow my mind? This fear I realised, once I started to think about it, boiled down to one thing. It isn't really that I'll never come home once I start, it's more simple that that, it's the age old fear of change. I don't want my life to be reassembled, "why rock the boat on something that's so good?" mutter those butterflies that are rocking around my stomach.

So, why might you ask, as those butterflies constantly do, am I doing this to myself? If it really is the most lump-in-throat, terrifying thing I've ever done, why go? Because, you know what, it's going to be the best adventure I have done and the anticipation of that wins any day.

From Google

My realisation was that change is all relative and this adventure, instead of harming my fabulous little life here, could make it even better. All that vintage clutter will still be here to rummage through when I get back, my family aren't going to disappear and this 8 months will make my world even brighter and wider. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have some reservations about it all, I'm the lady who asked her driving instructor what to do if she was held up by an armed robber on her test (they stop it, just in case you were wondering) I'm a worrier and a prize panic-er when it comes to the what might be, but life isn't about giving in to all that noise, it's about living it. There is so much out there in the big wide world and so many experiences to see, feel and taste I would be shooting myself in the foot to not embrace it all.

So we are off but I'm not doing it the cargo pants and flip flops way, I can't leave my vintage love completely at home, it's too engrained in my blood. So to make this adventure a little more me, I'm going to take on a vintage feel to this backpacking malarkey and document my trips, tricks and tips on here. Expect vintage style hair, crumpled cotton dresses and any tip bits or vintage treats I find along the way all all thrown in with the photos and stories of this epic adventure.

So toodle pip till the next instalment and enjoy a little map of our plan trip whilst you wait :)

Our Current Route.