Day 15 and 16: The Over Heated Prude

Day 15

We wake up early this morning, keen to search the capital of Thailand but that enthusiasm starts to fade as we feel the heat of the place, it's intense and the best way to describe it is like walking into a steam room that's set to 34c with your clothes on. To help us acclimatise, we eat breakfast in the hostel to give our bodies time to adjust and its a brilliant choice, I have pancakes and banana with a delicious lemon drink that freshens me a little.

Our hostel is a little way out of the city centre and instead of walking (urg) or trying to get a non dodgy tuk tuk, we decide to take the river boat 10 stops up to around the Kho San Road area to see what all the fuss was about. The stops just around the corner from us but we are still sweating when we get on the boat. The 20 minute journey is only 30p each and slightly cooling but we still have to sit down, trying to find cool, at a temple. This thing about this heat is you can't escape it, there isn't really any sun through the Bangkok haze of cloud no pollution so there isn't any shade to hide in. The area around Kho San has a chilled hippy vibe with markets selling all the trendy back packer wears including flip flops, vests, sarongs and bags. I notice a second hand bookshop as we wander and pull us in to its fanned coolness. A quick puruse and 2 books bought later, we are back out on the street and I'm really struggling. I'm quite a cold blooded human normally and I'm sweating like crazy, I have no idea how Ben, who over heats in winter in a jumper, is not dead yet. It sucks the life out of you and we make a few stops along the way to refuel and cool down. 

A short walk from our book shop is the infamous Kho San road. It's full of markers, bars and a mixture of bewildered and weather worn travellers of all ages. The market stalls sell everything from DIY lampshades to sunglasses and tiger balm. It suppose to come more to life at night with all manner of strange things so we wander off to try and find somewhere cool to read and rest. Fat, fluffing chance in this weather. We find a park but quickly over heat on one of its benches. Our legs walk us to the Grand Palace but neither of us have the inclination to go inside as its brimming with tourists and looks, if it's possible, to be even hotter. We give in at this point and make our way back to the hostel by the river boat. Once in, the only place I can find cool enough before the air con kicks in is the floor and I'm laying there for a full 20 minutes before I feel human again.

Our energy levels boost back up and our stomachs realise that they are empty once we are back to a normal temperature again. We currently have no plan for the rest of our stay in Thailand yet and this heat is both making us want to think of one fast so we install ourselves back down in the hostel cafe with laptops and brains and work out what we are going to do. The heat has really overwhelmed us both and neither can think about staying in Bangkok any longer than we have got booked already so we decided on beaches. 2 weeks of them to be precise around the Krabi area. We book our flights and our first lot of accommodation in Krabi town, day dream about swimming in cool waters in 2 day time and get ourselves ready for a night out in Bangkok. 

I know I've held Ben back so far with my fears (which he hadn't complained about once) but I feel that I'm starting to relax here and want to see what the city can offer. Our tummys take priority as they usually do and Ben finds a delicious looking vegetarian resturant called May Kaidee's which is just off Kho San road. It's look late for the boat now so we decide, from the cool of our room, to walk it, not quite realising the distance. The map isn't too scale and makes the 3.3 mile walk look a doddle, again not including the heat factor. It's not as bad as it sounds though and we get to see a more natural side of Bangkok than the tourist areas and actually a lot of the must see sights along the way. An hour later, we are seated at the restuant and it doesn't disappoint. Ben goes for his masaman which he says is the best he has ever tasted, whilst I go for a light peanut and sesame salad washed down with a really refresher cocktail, virgin for me, which had lemon grass and ginger in. 

After eating ourselves to a waddle status (I don't see how anyone can lose weight in Asia) we take a look at the delights of Kho San road in the darker hours. All that really gets added is the clientel of a Friday night in Colchester, a few ping pong show offers and some fried scorpions that you can't take pictures of but its a lively atmosphere and fun to be in so we stay for a little while taking it in.

Not really wanting to walk back, we look for a taxi just off the Kho San area, however our first guy saw our sweaty, non tanned faces and fancy taking us for a ride and not one that we wanted to go on. Taxis in Thailand are all metered and by law they have to be turned on for any trip, this guy however though we could make a bit on us and wouldn't put it on, offering us a price of 400 (about £8) instead. I come into my own here, all worries forgotten as I'm not in the mood to be ripped off after the troubles of India and after a few minutes of me insisting he put the meter on and he losing 50 of the price every minute, we get out and wander down the road to flag down another, who has his meter on for takes us back to the hostel for 80. 

The night has lost hardly any of the days heat though and even that short distance we walked to find the not so scammy cab, I've over heated again. Cue another floor lay when we get in and a night serenaded by the hum of the air con.

Day 16

Last night, on our long walk to Kho San, we talked about my fears of the adventuring and Ben came up with the idea of having a Ben style day today, one with no real plan or maps, just see where it takes us, to test my control freak nature. Our first task however is to find some sticky rice, we hop on a river boat to Thi Tiem in the hope the market outside the peir will have some sticky rice. It doesn't but we fill up on watermelon and realise we are right next to the reclining Buddha statue which we've been told is quite good. I haven't however, dressed for Thai temples, who don't like shorts or bare shoulders and to go inside I have to borrow one of their lime green nylon dressing gowns. Within 10 seconds of it touching my skin, I'm sweating and by 2 minutes I know what it's like to be cooked in a microwave. Add to this that the temple is packed full of people with no through breeze and it isn't long before I want to dive in the fountains that are just out the entrance. The Buddha is cool though, and very big and all of the temples surrounding it are so pretty but it's just too hot and I can't really enjoy any of it as all I'm thinking about is cold thoughts, cold thoughts.

Also as we are wandering we notice the clouds are starting to darken and even though a nice shower would feel very cooling, I didn't really fancy wandering around is damp shorts so we dive into a cafe. It's called the Gate and does some really nice Thai food which we nibbled whilst watching the rain fall and then quickly disappear again, not even leaving a puddle or cooling the air. At is point with not real plan, we decide to head in the rough direction of our hostel and see what we found along the way. First thing was the brightly coloured flower market with its sweet smells, then back out onto a side road to its not so sweet ones. We walk following the river, hoping to find a peir so we can escape the heat on a boat. It takes a little while to locate one and on the way we see some more of Bangkok at its heart, with tight streets, wooden house and Thai people getting on with their day. Hot and sticky we find a pier stop from ours and carry on our hunt for the sticky rice once we are off. Still no luck so Ben goes for street food dumplings whilst I a 7/11 biscuit feast as we couldn't find anything vegetarian. 

Tonight's plan is to go insearch of the worlds biggest adult playground, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy. Both of which are off metro stops so we hop on one, enjoying its coolness and speed. The stop it takes us to is about 5 minutes from our preferred show of choice but it's at least 3 hours since we last ate and we spot a strange looking noodle resturant playing a film about Pompeii, perfect. 

You wouldn't know Soi Cowboy is the devious play ground it is from the side streets around it, and it comes out of the blue after a 5 minute walk. And come out it does. The street is the length of Crouch Street, covered in neon signs, pumping music and full of lady boys. I mean literally full of them, some very convincing and some quite definitely not but all being followed by swarms of elderly western men with a puppy dog expression on their faces but with lustful desperation in their eyes. It's beyond creepy and I feel uncomfortable instantly, we walk it 2 or 3 times looking for a somewhere to sit to people watch but all places seem to want a little more participation than that so we move on to find Nana Plaza.

The main strip is a dual carriage way with pavements on each side, crammed full with of thin market stalls. At first I think it's the usual Thai tourist tatt, just streams of designer knock offs, fake Lego toys, phone cases, sex toys and...wait a minute, what? A close look  makes me realise that every third or fourth stall is full of all types of sexual equipment and aids including 6 types of Viagra, blow up dolls and fleshlights (if you don't know what they are, don't google them) Bangkok's adult playground has seeped onto its streets but no one seems to notice and haggles for their Deor top or Nikee top whilst I can't stop staring at it all. 

We let ourselves be hustled and bustled down the street whilst we look for our place, but with no luck and after 3 turn arounds and a pit stop in McDonalds to steal it's wifi, we give up and wander down a small alley to see what we can find. I'm hitting panic mode at this point as my 3 triggers, heat, crowds and tiredness, have all been rolled into one. Ben senses this and sees a bar that might be perfect for us to chill out in for s bit with a live band playing inside. He wanders in with a sweet smile from the girls outside, whilst my reception is a little colder. I can't work out why until I adjust to the darkness inside and I realise I've walked into a indie version of a brothel come nightclub. The room is full of dubious look girls, stalking the 6 or 7 men inside who are lapping up the attention and all the other perks of the place. Ben finds it all funny which I know I should too but I can't stop the creepy feeling filling the pit of my stomach and I get Ben to leave after a very quick one drink.

My feeling of frustration replaces the discomfort with each step towards the metro and I try and rationalise why I needed to leave so badly. The girls aren't being exploited, in fact it feels quite the opersite, they use the school boy lust of these strange men to rinse their credit cards. And it's not that I'm not really that prudey. But when I think about it more deeply as I lay awake that night with it all buzzing in my head, maybe I am? I have a distinct idea of what should happen and where, and it shocks my core when that's tested. Although I'm open to the more darker side of life, I think it has a place and everyone in it, and that view tonight of unabated lust of something that was going to be paid for, just didn't fit in to that. But when I really thought about it and how, actually, businesslike it all way, I started to see it all in a different light. It's not as black and white as my values think it is, it's just a service like any other and that horror in me is just heightened by my other overwhelment of this crazy adventure of ours and I fall asleep soundingly, knowing I'll be leaving this mad city in the morning. 

Day 11, 12, 13 and 14 Why Hong Kong, I love you.

As you might have noticed so far, I normally do 2 days together in each blog but I though for Hong Kong, as we were there for such a short period, I'd put them all in one. So enjoy our 4 days in my favourite place so far.

Day 11

I have finally managed to finish Gone with the Wind on the flight, which I started on the way to India but fell asleep to. My one line review? It's a bit of an epic. Other than film watching, I was mainly feel sick on this flight, which is a mix of it leaving at 2.30am and a lack of food, so I'm pretty glad to be getting off the plane and woohoo! Our bags are here. 

Hong Kong airport is full of its mod cons and really easy to navigate, we get a bus from outside for £8 and it takes us through the beautiful water ways to huge buildings inside the city, in air conned luxury. After a short walk to our hostel at a nice 18C, we arrive at our room on the 10th floor. Thank god for lifts. The room is simple but it has a warm shower, a duvet and strong Wi-Fi so we are both pretty happy. We quickly shower and dress so we can in search of food in our sleepy state. 

The first thing we find is a supermarket and the bright lights and packaged snacks lure us in, we buy two absolutely scrumptious but over priced egg sandwiches, that came with a foul soup resembling asparagus and totter over to Victoria Park to eat up and relax in the last of the days sun.

 The lack of last nights sleep is setting in and all I want to do is curl under the duvet. But in my sleepy state, I decided that it was much more important that we go find a notebook. In IKEA, of all places. Unsurprising all we found was flat pack furniture and penny sweets, I got a bag of the later and we wandered back to where I could finally rest my head and I slept through to only be woken by the occasionally slamming door.

Day 12 

The room has little natural light and with my lack of sleep from the day before (I'm blaming Gone With The Wind), I don't wake up till 10.30 with a very hungry looking Ben staring at me. We dress quickly and go off to fill up on street food. Before I fell into my slumber last night I found some cool free places to explore in HK so that's our plan for the day. We stop off at a 7/11 for some drinks where I pick up Mr Juicy who accompanies us on our adventure. 

With no real need for speed, we wander through the busy streets and I'm struck by how European it feels, it is still very Asian with the smells from the restaurants and symbol writing on every shop but it has something western that I can't quite put my finger on. But I can definitely nibble so I picked up a cream cake from a bakery and we wander to a park so I can get my fill of processed heaven. 

Cake consumed and map checked, we head off toward the China Bank building where we hear that you can see a great view of the city for free if you just walk up to the elevator and head to the 43rd floor. Our walk takes us past markets and brightly coloured shops that we dip into every now and then to pick up gifts and snacks. Our little trek hits an unfortunate dead end as they have now install scanners to the lifts so you need a pass to enter the building but all is not lost as we're near our next destination, the Hong Kong Zoological and Botanical Garden and after a very steep trek up there we arrived.

It is so beautiful and full of some great creatures and we see flamingos, toucans and some pretty orchids among other things. The park is split into two seconds, the bottom has the tunnels full of plants and the pretty birds and the upper has the primates, so you can image where we spent the most of our time. The monkeys all seem pretty happy and we watch them being fed and they got even happier.

A quick look on the map makes us realised we aren't that far (as the crow flys) to the peak which is a viewing point to see the whole of the city and as we would have to walk back on ourselves to get the tram, we decide to take it by foot, obviously completely ignoring how steep it was just to get to the gardens. Oh my freaking god, it's like walking vertical, I've never walked anything so hard. I swear we stop about 10 times and it takes us an hour. To do a mile. So painful.

However, all the aching limbs aside, it felt good reaching the top knowing we'd done it all by ourselves and to treat ourselves we ate some pretty delicious Dim Sum and tea at a restaurant at the top. After a photo session at the observation deck, we start to make our way down, shunning the tram again and feeling every pain in our legs as we did so. Once at the bottom, our aim is to wander back to the hostel to freshen up and then come back out but after the epic walk of the day and the gentle plod, plod of our feet back to our room, I crash, not stirring once in the night.

Day 13

You'll be unsurprised to know this morning I wake up aching in places I didn't ever know I had, from the balls of my feet to my calves, hips and bum. Today's walking is not going to be fun. But our stomachs dictate us and we dress and are out in search of food, settling for the same sweet and sour tofu I had yesterday. Today is Wednesday which means free museum day in Hong Kong so we are off to learn something. All the ones we want to see are on Kowloon so we make our way to Wan Chai Ferry pier to get a short and quite calm ferry ride over the way. London could learn something from this as the 10 minute journey was only 25p each and gave us a great view of the city. 

Once disembarked, our first stop is the HK Museum of Art which I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy but we saw some amazing pieces including an exhibition of some amazing wooden sculptures from Tong King Sum. The rest was a bit odd, including videos of bagged air and walking vaginas so when Ben's tummy starts rumbling, I'm not too sad to be leaving. We take a wander into Kowloon and within 5 minutes our eyes have been caught by some huge cats outside the iSquare mall and they tempt us in. 

This mall is huge with its equalling some of the sky scrapers surrounding it, and so many floors. The 6th has food and Ben spots noodles and we grab a bowl each. Ben wolfed his down, mine however tasted foul but not wanting to moan I sipped a little soup and gave the rest to Ben who didn't seem that keen on it either. Accepting that was going to be my lunch, we start to wander back out again when something catches my eye...FroYo!! This delicious frozen yoghurt goodness is something we both fell in love with in America and we make it our mission to fill up on it now. 

Half an hour later, full of ice cream we start walking towards the science museum with achey legs and sore feet. This, as it was free I guess, was quite busy but we managed to  have a good play on all the science toys and games and learn all about Hong Kong health and safety rules (spoiler, it's not much different to ours). At this point our achey legs are starting to get the better of us. Our plan was meant to be a day of museums and eating and then as it got dark, we would make our way to the Temple Street Night Market to see what that was all about and then make our way back, whilst watching the free Symphony of Lights show that goes on over the river and is in English on Wednesday nights. However our feet were seriously aching now and we googled both places and they look a bit either touristy or naff, so we made our way back to the boat, wincing at every step. When Ben has a brain wave, why not go get a foot massage? Hong Kong is meant to be famous for them and it would certainly ease our aching muscles. So we researched and found a well-reviewed and well-known one around the corner from our hostel called Big Bucket, so named as you started by dunking your feel in a warm bucket of jelly, sounded blissful. We made our way back to the hostel, washed of the day's muck and ventured back out.

Well this experiance was easily one of the most painful in my life. Yes, we started with a very soothing foot soak in gorgeously warm water but that was where the pleasure ended, either my muscles were too painful to touch or my masseuse had a hatred of pink hair English girls but every touch he made to my legs and my feet was easily a 9 on the pain scale (a 9/10 for pain for me, means yelping) He pulled, he pummelled, he rubbed and cracked until I generally though I was going to have to kick him, when my 45 minutes were up and I hobbled out of there, in more pain than I started. The only saving grace was that Ben seemed to be in as much pain as I was and we waddled back, and ached all evening. Ben went out and got some food but I really couldn't leave the soft bed once I sat on it and curled up for a night sleep, full of pain.

Day 14

Waking up this morning, I had the thought, that although painful when it happend, the massage might just take a little while to work and today I would feel perkier than a spring chicken. Oh no no no, I'm sorer that yesteraday and today I have the added fun of my rucksack on my back as we are leaving Hong Kong this evening for Bangkok. We need to be out at 12 but we stay for as long as possible as we had time to kill today so I pack slow and we cut it fine for check out. We can leave our bags at the hostel which is great and the cat thats living on the reception counter looked like he'd take good care of them for us. The programme today was to pick up some presents and mooch until we needed to take the bus to the airport, my legs ease a little as I began to walk so it wasn't going to be as torturous as I thought. 

We make our way across the city and it took forever, the streets were packed with people and unlike London where everyone seems double busy even when they aren't, 70% of the crowd today where glued to their phones, 12 inches from their faces and walking at a pace most toddlers could beat. I try and detour us at every side street as slow walkers really get my goat, and we stumble upon a packed street market where everything is being sold from pigs faces to hello kitty bags and fruit to cups of tea. We wander around there until the smell of dried fish gets too much.

Presents bought, we stop for a quick cup of jasmine tea before making our way back to Wan Chai park. The sun is quite warm today so we slouch in the shade under the trees, watching the health conscious pensioners of HK lunge around the park, swinging their arms as they go. Our plan is to go back to the hostel to put a new battery in Ben's camera but looking at the time, we decide to pick up our bags now and spend the last hour in Victoria park which is a stones throw from the bus stop. Soaking up the last of Hong Kong, my resounding feeling is still one of intrigue, I definitely want to come back and spend more time exploring this city that never sleeps.

The time comes to leave and we waddle like pregnant women with both our bags on to the bus stop, where efficiently as always, the bus turns up on time and impresses Ben with its free wifi. A nice and quick check in at the airport, with a sneaky pizza dinner, it isn't long before we board our Kenyan Airline flight to Bangkok. Wait, you say, an African airline going from Hong Kong to Bangkok, how strange. Well not so, when you realise, it's stop over in its journey to Nirobe and this face is a bonus as the flight is near empty. They also have the comfiest seats, largest legroom and a very nice dinner which we weren't expecting but still fit in with our pizza. I would definitely recommend Kenyan Airlines.

We land two hours later and step into the suffocating heat of Bangkok, even at midnight you are sweating within seconds. Fed up of tourists being scammed by taxis and complaining the airport has come up with a genius way to get a taxi, involving tickets and screens and our driver is great, taking us straight to our hostel with no "oh look at my friend" detours. All I notice at this point is the air con and the bunk beds and within 20 minutes of arriving I'm asleep, preparing myself for our first day in Thailand.

Day 9 and 10: Finishing India

Day 9

We are starting the day lazy again as Harpel needed a rest after 9 solid days of driving us around. This is turns out to be a god send as this morning we have the first rumbles of upset tummies in the team with Ben not being able to stray too far from the toilet. The immodeum is whipped out and luckily seems to the do the job by the time Harpel comes and picks us up.

We begin our long drive back to Delhi and all this driving is starting to merge into one as I stare out of the window as the passing towns and villages. It strikes me, however, as we drive along that although India is full of rubbish, it's pile high in the edges of the towns, spilling onto the roads, the Indians themselves are actually very clean. Each house and shop we pass has a clean front step which I see being swept every day, they are always smartly dressed with fresh clothes and ironed sleeves, they are very conscious of their appearance. Whereas at home, we might have smarter streets but we aren't always as bothered with ourselves. 

At about 4.30pm we begin to make our way into the city, a sight I can confirm as the buildings get higher and the roads busier. It is meant to take us an hour and a half from this point but you Harpel's amazement and ours the streets are nearly empty. He chuckles to himself that he's never seen the city so clean, so beggar free and so empty and it dawns on us all that Obama's arrival tomorrow is very important for the president and he needs everything to be just so.

We reach our hotel in 45 minutes, and you can see Harpel's happiness to be back in his home city with his family, including two young daughters, nearby. He isn't happy for us to go out tonight on our own, he's worried that, with Obama's arrival imminent tomorrow, that there might be trouble in the city tonight so we have lukewarm showers, room service curry and an early night.

Day 10 

Today I managed to wake up still thinking I'm at home, and that confused feeling doesn't leave me for most of the morning. We are leaving India today but not till late so we have a full programme according to Harpel. We dress quick and find our way to the hotel bar for the last of our Indian breakfast surprises but it excels itself this morning and I have the best breakfast I've had this coming here. It's called Bhooni Barji and consists of a inflated pancake style bread with curry and yoghurt, yum.

Our first stop on our jam packed day sight seeing is to a monkey temple, which is easily the coolest temple I have ever seen. It's bright orange, about 30 ft high and in the shape of their monkey God, we didn't go inside but I was pretty impressed with its outer to be honest.

Next up, on a day seeming to be full of them, is another temple. This time a cool stone building that was a bit nippy without your shoes on, but even with its chill this is probably the first time any place religious in this trip has chimed with me. The walls are full of Hindu proverbs that's logic makes sense to me. My favourite was something like (I forgot to write it down) life is like being in an ocean full of crocodiles, I just like that image :)

We linger around here longer that we would have normally as we have a lot of hours to kill but it shows off how far I've come in 10 days of being here and I'm just a little impressed with myself. To get to this temple and back to the car again, we have to walk under the road in a dark subway full of stalls and for the first time is doesn't feel like I'm suffocating with fear, yes I'm a little nervous but not in a way that grips me and I feel I'm making progress.

After this, Harpel drives around a bit to show us the city which is full of road blocks and diversions for a certain american president, and I am really taken aback with just how quite the city is, it's much more comparable to Colchester on a Sunday morning that the bustling one we arrived in 10 days before. We see the city gate, the palace and several other places as we whizz past. 

We are on route to another temple and this one is the largest Hindu temples in the world and it's pretty huge. It was completed quite recently and it still feels quite fresh, we wandering around of over an hour taking in its huge elephant sculptures and their stories. Our tummies are rumbling by now so we go off for lunch is probably one of the most disappointing places Harpel has taken us for food. It's an expensive touristy place with over priced drinks and no thali! It did redeem itself slightly with its mouth freshener afterwards. The only way I can describe it is it's like licking an incense stick which makes Ben gag but I quite enjoy it.